Was surrendering to your primordial desires the act that you took in the relationship? What was the act that your partner took and did they have to change their behavior? Without going into more specifics, I wonder if each of you had to do things to keep the eroticism alive. Having been married for 11 years now with two kids, we have had similar concerns about desire for one another in our relationship. From my experience, being the person to initiate and also receive rejection regularly, it’s not a question of availability that reduces desire, rather, it’s the feeling of being undesired altogether. These are things we talk about but the point I take away is that each person has to want to give up something to the other.